Sunday, November 20, 2005

SILENCE CAN BE GOLDEN: TACKY TOASTS AND FRIENDS THAT GIVE THEM

PART I: AN INTRODUCTION....

I don’t know who came up with the proverb or phrase or whatever you want to call it, but I think it is fairly accurate when it comes to wedding toasts: We always hurt the ones we love. I also think that you could substitute the following adjectives: “mortify “surprise,” “embarrass,” and “anger.”

Toasts and speeches have become part and parcel of most wedding celebrations, and I’d say that at least the majority of them (or those that my friends and I have attended), somebody has flubbed a speech, somehow managing to make not only the bride and/or groom uncomfortable, but every guest in attendance.

While it will take me a few entries to get to the core of this topic, it’s important I relay some terrible and tacky toasts, so you will definitely know how to avoid the following scenarios at all costs.

We’ve all seen it in the movies, and think to ourselves that it’s too cliché to actually happen. Wrong answer. Though the ridiculousness may not reach the level it did with Mitch’s speech at Frank’s wedding in the movie Old School, (“True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded...ready to double team your girlfriend... “), I’ve seen and heard of some pretty good ones.

As I had a long drive back from Baltimore (nice city!), I'm going to end it here, and come back later with some observations about toasts and hints to avoid cringing when someone gets up to the microphone.

Stay tuned.....

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