Sunday, November 06, 2005

What Wasn't She Thinking?: An Introduction

I'm going to be blunt.

Women lose their minds when it comes to weddings--or, perhaps less dramatically--their practical thinking skills.

As my sister and certain of my close friends have all taken the collective plunge in the past few years, I've seen it happen.

Brides-to-be so are concerned about "their day", that they completely lose sight of the larger picture. While these women may have apartments littered with issues of MODERN BRIDE magazine and Emily Post etiquette books, they forget that practical information (about how to respectfully treat their friends and family) is nowhere to be found among those pages.

When brides-to-be get sucked into this warp zone--an alternate reality that you thought existed only in Super Mario Brothers--they forget about the collective "WE." We = all the wedding guests (including bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, and Uncle Fred) that spend our time (and let's face it, a lot of our money) taking part in the wedding festivities.

You may think I'm writing about the "Bridezilla," or the woman encompassed by the descriptive buzzword that's become uber fashionable these days. I'm not. The Bridezilla is the screaming, ranting, I-want-it-the-way-I-want-it type of girl. The brides I speak of (those who completely forget the collective "We") are, I think, a bit more egregious. Unlike the Bridezilla, these women aren’t thinking at all.

As an career woman by day who morphs into Wedding Fairy by night, I've witnessed and collected countless stories about tacky--or simply bad-- bride behavior, ranging from bridesmaid dresses, table seating arrangements, invitations sans-guest, destination weddings, embarassing wedding speeches, and bachelorette party boo-boos.

Why am I writing this? At first, it seemed like a good way to vent my frustration (for myself and for others) about the fact that brides-to-be get away with WAY too much. I realize, though, that all women (whether single and on the prowl, or happily engaged and planning the big day) can learn from these stories. If I can help even ONE woman avoid the inevitable "What Wasn't She Thinking" question, then my job is done here.

If you aren't disgusted by my candor (or fear what I may have to say), read on.... Just think of my site as The Melrose Place of Wedding Stories. You won't REALLY believe that they happened, but somehow, it's sadly realistic enough that you stay tuned.


Rin-rin said...

I LOVE this, wedding fairy! and i see some of my stories have made it!

Anonymous said...

I am absolutely not disgusted by your candor. It is completely needed in this world of brides who are out of touch with everything but their obsession with their special day which in some caess costs enough to feed a starving population for a month. I admire that you have taken a stance where a stance needed to be taken, and I will be subsequently reading all of your commentary.

Anonymous said...

I can completely understand what you're talking about! My so-called "friend" and Bride to be, asked me to be the ONLY bridesmaid in her wedding party-the Maid of Honour. I accepted gladly and understood that I would be required to do the following:
1. Go bridal dress shopping with her
2. Go bridesmaid dress shopping with her
3. Look at the hall/church she picked out with her fiancée
4. Go to make-up trials/fittings for the dress
5. Plan and partially fund the bridal shower with the bride to be's mother (which was for 50 freakin' people!). Plus attend and send out invites and thank yous
6. Plan the bachelorette party and help fund it plus send out invites/thank yous.
7. Be available for the rehearsal dinner/attend the rehearsal dinner
8. Be available on the day of the wedding and the two weeks preceding the wedding.

I thought that would be more than enough. NOT SO! Myself and another close girlfriend of mine planned to go to Europe 5 weeks before her wedding and be back 3 weeks before the big day. This was NOT ENOUGH for her!!! She told me that I would need to be available to her 4 weeks prior to her wedding to "support her". She got her mother to send me an e-mail asking me to move my once-in-a-lifetime trip to another timeframe to accommodate for her daughter's "special day". Can you believe it?! I don't even need to mention that this girl is consistently 30-45 min late when meeting up with me FOR ANYTHING. I also threw her a surprise 25th b-day bash and she didn't even come to my 25th birthday! What a demanding Bridezilla!