Monday, December 19, 2005

"But I'm So Busy": Avoiding the WeddingWarpZone (Part II)

Having spent a while talking about the pitfalls of creating the "I'm Too Busy" mystique, I want to give brides-to-be a few tips about how to avoid this unattractive behavior...

*SEND FRIENDS A HANDWRITTEN NOTE.

Sounds corny and old-fashioned? Perhaps. But taking the time to write your friends a cute card, just letting them know you're thinking about them and you're sorry you've been so MIA is a terrific way to express yourself and emphasize that you haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Getting some pretty cards at Kate's Paperie or Hallmark, writing a thoughtful note, addressing the envelope and licking the stamp will take all of an hour. Your friends will remember it for a lot longer than that.

*HAVE A NON-BRIDAL BRUNCH.

I often feel like there's no better way to connect (or reconnect, as the case may be) with people than over Bloody Marys or Mimosas on a Sunday morning. While wedding stress happens every day of the week, the best way to alleviate some of that--and to catch up with the friends you don't have time to see during the week--is to take them out to a good brunch. While you may feel compelled to talk about the dirty details of your bridesmaid's dresses and floral centerpieces, STOP yourself. Instead, take most of the time in catching up to do just that. Catch up. Taking the time to ask a friend about a new boyfriend, or an old, boring job, is extremely important. Doing it over Mimosas? That just makes it more fun. :)

*SEND A HALLMARK E-CARD.

Although you may think that this contradicts my point in item 1, it is more complementary than anything else. While sending handwritten cards is a nice touch, what's great about e-cards is that they're a form of instant gratification -- and easy access to thoughtfulness -- all at your fingertips. Best of all? E-cards are often free (try the ones at Hallmark which are cute - particularly the Hoops and Yo Yo cards :), and they're easy. Just saying "hi" to someone can make friends feel like they're still "in the loop" -- and that you haven't forgotten about them.

*BAKE SOME COOKIES (YES, READY MADE ARE OK!)

This may sound extremely silly, but it's not. Giving something homemade and, well, edible is always a sweet gift - particularly when there's NO reason at all that you're doing it. At the end of the day, think of this as your stress release, and a way of taking your mind off of the craziness of planning. This may also give you a sense of control, and that you DO have time to make time. Popping by someone's house or apartment with cookies and a smile will be one way of proving that you not only can do it all, but you're a damn good baker too :)


*TAKE A YOGA, SPINNING, OR DANCE CLASS WITH A FRIEND

Having an activity that you just do with one or two friends is a way of keeping up with people AND having something special that you do together--in spite of all the wedding photography, florist, and bridal dress appointments. It's great to have something to look forward to, which you and your friends can enjoy together, as well as keeping a specific and defined time for your friendships. Not only will you be exercising and feeling better (both mentally and physically), but you'll be fostering and maintaining your friendships (while getting in kick ass shape for the wedding!)

In conclusion, there are plenty of things you can do to avoid the WeddingWarpZone, and to make sure that your friends know you're trying. Therefore, I'll leave with one final point:

*BE YOUR HAPPY, THOUGHTFUL SELF AND YOUR FRIENDS WILL APPRECIATE IT!*

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