Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Wedding Speeches (CONT.): TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING?

As I've already mentioned in previous posts on TheWeddingSpeech, planned speeches are certainly better than the impromptu, "I'll repeat over and over again that Bride Sally is Really Nice because I can't think of anything better to say" type.

I started to think, however, about even the most perfectly executed, well spoken speech: how much is too much?

Think about it: at a "typical" wedding, we normally will hear kind words from the best man, a heartfelt speech from the maid of honor, as well as emotional sentiments conveyed from the bride's father (and many times, the groom's father). Sometimes, other guests/family members are included.

I was at a wedding recently, but if one took away the twinkling glow of the candlelight and the rose petals strewn on the white linen tableclothes, I would have mistaken it for a law school lecture.

At this particular wedding, there were so many (LONG) speeches interspersed through the dinner, all of the words began to blend into one long diatribe. Somehow, it actually detracted from the romantic aspect of the evening, as I found it more fun to watch the bride and groom dance (and join them on the dance floor), then it was to hear the same words over and over again.

Although it is a very sweet-and necessary-gesture to have individuals close to the bride and groom speak at the reception, I think it's important to remember one thing: LIMIT, LIMIT, LIMIT.

Don't be afraid. Although your MaidofHonor typically gives a speech, you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT. My rule is that you don't have to play by the rules.

If you'd rather have your MaidofHonor speak at the rehearsal dinner (in order to save more time for dinner and dancing at the actual reception)? Great. Think dear old dad will do great on the dance floor for the traditional Dad and Daughter dance (but not so great on speaking without rambling?) Your call.

My point here is that while guests appreciate the sentiment of wedding speeches, sometimes they can be too much of a good thing. If you have many people speaking--even if the speeches are good ones--it can become boring for the guests. Harsh? Perhaps. True? Definitely.

In conclusion, don't be afraid to break with tradition, and think of alternative methods to include the "conventional" speakers but in a non-conventional way. If you'd like to include everyone that traditionally speaks, that's great. Just be aware that the speeches should be short and sweet, and all of the previous rules apply!

Stay tuned....


Anonymous said...

my only addition to that would be: if you do decide to skip 'traditional' speeches...let those people know. i was the maid of honor at my friend's wedding, and when speech time came around, the best man gave his speech, and instead of handing me the mic to make my speech, he finished by saying "cheers" and everyone drank. she never told me she didn't want me to speak, so i was left standing there with my punch and looking like an idiot. if she had told me i wouldn't be speaking, i wouldn't have taken all the time to prepare something...and i wouldnt' have looked so silly standing there waiting for the mic that never came.

the wedding fairy said...

Great point. I completely agree.

Since most people do follow tradition, if brides-to-be decide NOT to part with convention, then that definitely should be conveyed that to bridesmaids, groomsmen and other relevant parties.

I remember how nervous I was making a speech at BigSis's wedding -- If I had prepared and practiced a speech and went through the butterflies-in-my-stomach scenario for nothing, I would not only have been hurt, but VERY annoyed!

I can understand how you were probably taken aback by the situation you described.

Definitely a great thought -- keep 'em coming!

the wedding fairy said...
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