Tuesday, February 07, 2006


"Once in the bar you have to keep your group together. A table is a must; then you can get to work embarrassing all the guys around you (you'll never see them again--have fun). Candy shirts are made up in advance with Life Savers or other candies sewn on a T-shirt. Guys get to lick or bite them off for a dollar. It's a good way to refill your "kitty" (money held by the "treasurer"). You can also play this game wearing a candy necklace. Some parties let the bride keep all the money. Most guys will talk a big game about sex and intimacy, but when it comes right down to being put upon by a group of women, they are wusses. When faced with the opportunity to nibble something off a strange female's torso, you'll be amazed at how shy they become."

I found this advice on www.party411.com, after I did a Google search under "bachelorette parties and games" -
by the way, there were 2,940,000 results for that particular query.

Having found a pin I received at a recent event labeled "I'm a flirt" (that I was made to wear out on a Saturday night for my friend's bachelorette party) I started to think the other day about my previous experiences at these events. My reluctance made me feel like a party pooper. If the BRIDE were so into going to Mantasia (i.e. a bevy of half naked men gyrating on stage), why wasn't I?

Although the bride is obviously the guest-of-honor at the bachelorette party, I think it's important that she remember that all of those involved (i.e. bridesmaids and close friends) should be comfortable with what is going on--and, just as importantly, should want to have fun while doing it.

All I'm advocating here is that brides are cognizant about the feelings/wishes of others. If a bride can forsee that her friends may be uncomfortable going up to random guys at bars as the result of playing bachelorette party games, is it really worth doing?

This concept isn't limited to parties that involve games, male strippers, or candy necklaces. ANY type of bachelorette party--whether it's dinner/drinks or a a night out at the movies, a club, or even the theater--should be something that everyone involved can be cool and comfortable with--particularly as each person will be shelling out a good amount of money to participate.

Therefore, I think it's important to make sure that everyone--both planners and random attendees alike--are on the same page when it comes to the bachelorette party. While it may seem difficult to ensure that this occurs, a bride is well within her rights to ask her friends that are planning the affair what they're thinking of doing--and if everyone else involved is on board with the concept.

Comfort level covers a range of issues, including the price of the event, the location (is it difficult for people to get to, or in a centralized spot?), and the type of activity.

I recognize that a bride can't really control many of these factors, but it's important that she try.

Why? Because I really would have liked to avoid Puppetry of the Penis on Broadway if I had the choice (I don't even want to explain on this blog for those of you who don't know what this is).

I'm not trying to be a "guestzilla"--I simply think that brides should make an effort to make sure, at least with those planning the event, that everyone is in agreement about the evening, which will hopefully avoid some of the issues raised above. Whether it's shooting a quick email to the friend who is planning or a fast phone call ("Hey, just making sure everyone is down with the plans for the party -- I want to be certain all my friends are happy with what we're going to be doing and that it works for everyone."), a bride has once again shown herself to be cognizant of those around her--which will garner much respect from those sharing in her special day.

Stay tuned!

1 comment:

MI-Bride/Bridesmaid said...

I agree whole heartily on this advice. Being that I will be both a bride and twice a bridesmaid in the next two years, I think the bride should think about the comfort of the people going with her for her bachelorette party.

I removed myself from being a bridesmaid at my own brother's upcoming wedding because of my comfort level. The bride to be (my future sister in law aka bridezilla) was requiring all of her bridesmaids to go to the bachelorette party she is planning herself. This would not normally be an issue but she is very firm that she wants to go to strip clubs- that is beyond my comfort zone and she knows that. She also wanted all of us to surrender the night before her wedding to staying in the hotel room with her, getting a stripper, and watching pornographic movies. This really s not my opinion of spending an evening- I will be in the hot tub instead!

However, I also think that the bride should think of the comfort levels of her girls when choosing dresses. My bridesmaids all went with me to look at dresses and they all picked out the same dress without know it. Yes, we have to do some alterations of adding straps to the tops so the dresses are within the comfort ranges of the girls. I do not see that as an issue. Exposing them because they feel uncomfortable is not something I would ever want to do.

However- when I was still in bridezilla and brother's wedding bridezilla thought nothing of our comfort. I feel sorry for the girls because they have to get out of horse-drawn carriages in front of everyone in dresses that make it nearly impossible- the dresses are skin-tight cocktail dresses that are extremely short in the front and extremely low cut. Bridezilla got peeved when one of the other girls mentioned the foreseen carriage problem and even more upset when I asked if I could have the dress altered so I would be comfortable and be able to be able to get out of the carriage without potentially exposing areas that need not be, or falling out of the dress. Just because a dress is tight does not mean it will not ride up or that the snugness will protect from pop-outs. Bridezilla made her point clear- she did not care what we thought. She liked the dresses, bought one for herself, and there would be no alterations to make the girls feel comfortable.

I guess some brides forget that even though it is there wedding their friends should be excited about it but not be placed in situations that they are uncomfortable.