Wednesday, March 29, 2006


During the tournament, I've seen some pretty controversial calls made by referees--although none (in my opinion) has been game-changing, the decisions have certainly make an impact. However, what I call "bad" may be the "right" call in someone else's eyes....And really, at the end of the day, no one can say whether it's right or wrong--except in the most egregious cases

As I wanted to get a better sense of the role of the referee during basketball games, I looked to Wikipedia for an answer: "There is some discretion with the referee when calling a foul — referees consider if there was unfair advantage gained, e.g. if a player were to gain possession unfairly, sometimes making fouls controversial calls. The calling of a foul can vary between games, leagues and even between referees."

While referees may be calling the shots (literally) during games, you have to do it in your wedding planning--as it relates to things including floral arrangements, bridesmaids dresses, and colors schemes. And what you would cry "foul" to may be anything but--in the eyes of your closest cousin or best friend.

Therefore, it's important to remember that with regard to wedding planning, the mantra of "TO EACH HIS OWN" really sticks. While referees have to make tough decisions during games, and their decisions are held up on the court, the point I'm making is that NOT EVERYONE AGREES WITH THE CALLS. Nevertheless, they need to be made. And you should make them with authority and NOT QUESTION THE DECISION YOU GO WITH. AND IN THE END, NO ONE SHOULD QUESTION THEM EITHER (obviously I am not talking about the items I've previously covered on the blog--that directly affect/offend your guests). When it comes to votives versus big bouquets of flowers on tables? That's your decision to make--and own.

Just remember that not everyone agrees with YOUR calls -- and THAT'S OK. What you think of as beautiful may not be the style of someone else that is a close friend or confidante.

As a reader pointed out: "...different people have different Ideas of what they like... My friend, for example, had a relatively unconventional wedding, which had a lot of elements I didn't necessarily like all that much, and I'm going to have a fairly conventional/religious wedding, which she is probably going to roll her eyes at some elements of. But we're (well, hopefully I was, and she definitely is) just being supportive of each other, not judgemental..."

This is not a sporting event--or a time to be judgmental about calls. This is your life. Unlike referees, you are making decisions that are yours to keep--and do not affect the outcome of anything but your own happiness.... As I pointed out, keep in mind that I'm speaking of more "superficial" choices --like save the date cards -- not those that affect your friends and family around you.

I'll be back with more this week on specific examples of how to glean useful information out of what others DON'T like -- and what calls THEY WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD MAKING -- because maybe you would be!

Stay tuned!

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