Friday, April 14, 2006

SOMETIMES YOU SHOULD JUST SHUT THE %*$ UP: PART III

I've been receiving some comments about wedding registries and how to 'get the word" out -- I thought that topic was interesting in the context of how much information is "too much"...

One reader commented that: "Many brides are now using the website Wedding Channel" - which in the olden days would have been thought of as tacky - but now seems to be widely accepted by most people."

Although I agree that it may be helpful and/or practical for people to use websites, such as The Wedding Channel and The Knot, as a centralized means to have people find their registry information, , it depends on HOW YOU USE THEM. Believe it or not, there is a clear and present danger that doing the old TMI (Too Much Information) will leave your guests and random web surfers saying "why can't she just shut the *%& up????"

As many of you know, brides-to-be can list registry information on these sites, but also create fairly detailed "wedding websites" through this vehicle--and, in many cases, brides-to-be decide that it's appropriate to tell their life story.

While it's sweet to know how the bride and groom may have met, I'm going to be honest: not many people care all that much--and those who DO CARE already know the story!!! If I'm a wedding guest who is close to the bride, I'll most likely realize how the bride knows her maid of honor, and her other bridesmaids/ushers and attendants. And if I'm not close to the bride? Do I really care that she knows her maid of honor, Lindsey, through meeting in fifth grade at summer camp?

Having a site to post your wedding registry is a personal decision, and, since so many people do it, it's difficult to say that it's tacky, since it's so common. However, when you use these wedding websites to post your registry AND advertise your life story and that of your fiances (with photographs of you and your fiance to boot)--I think that's taking the purpose for using the site over the line, and begging for the question: "Can she please just shut the *%& up?" Most people go to these websites to find the registry, order, and leave. I'm not even getting to the subject of wedding websites here, as I'm really speaking to the commercial sites where people post their registries. On a side note in terms of privacy--do you really want random girls (and who knows, guys) surfing these sites and coming across all of your personal information? Believe me--people do it--you can put in any random name, and up pops several registries and "wedding websites" -- I certainly don't need people knowing my life story--especially when they've never met me.....

I'll conclude this theme in my three-part post with the idea that in all of these scenarios, it's important to PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Sometimes "TMI" is very overbearing and unnecessary--particularly when your guests are going on a website with the idea in mind of buying something from your registry--and the tacky-feeling that wasn't really associated as much anymore with these websites will come back with a vengeance.

Stay tuned!

3 comments:

Dahlia said...

I personally find that using a wedding registry and posting detailed information to one's guests is a bit awkward for me, if not downright an excercise of poor etiquette.

Anonymous said...

i don't disagree w/ the last comment.... i think those wedding sites are tacky, and you know what? i think my guests will be resourceful enough to find my registries on their own....

for the last few weddings i've gone to, i've gotten presents for my friends from stores that i think are unique and special. although the gifts aren't on the registries, i think (and hope) my friends appreciate having something that i put some thought into.

whether registry vs. no registry, isn't there a certain gag-reflex to the sites that brides-to-be use, where they not only post their registries, but tell the cutesy story of how post-proposal, she and her fiance stayed at a fancy hotel for the night in a room strewn w/ rose petals. ENOUGH! Tacky and as the blogger writes, way too much information.

Anonymous said...

Hm. I actually like hearing stories about how the proposal went, etc. I'd much rather read about it on their website than have them gush in person (unless they're a really close friend, of course!), and they're usually quite cute stories. Although... yeah, I like them more if they're short.