Friday, April 28, 2006

WHEN READERS SPEAK... THE WEDDING FAIRY LISTENS (PART I)

I'm not sure if you guys realize this, but I LOVE hearing from ya'll...As much fun as it is to write posts, it's even more fun reading my new comments :)

I received a comment from a reader yesterday, which I thought was particularly insightful--and it goes to show, you guys really ARE paying attention:

"First of all, I want to say that I really enjoy coming to check out what you have to say! I'm planning my September wedding and I like to read your thoughts and take some things into consideration with my own wedding. I loved the posts you wrote about keeping your bridesmaids in mind! Although, I've noticed a negative tone to your posts lately. Are you becoming bitter or annoyed towards weddings and brides-to-be? Just a reflection from one of your faithful readers!"

Thank you, Anne, for the feedback and the observation. I wanted to answer your question, since I'm sure many readers wonder what motivates me to write this blog several days a week:

I hadn't actively realized that the past several posts have been negative--I did brace myself for negative comments when I wrote the series about shutting the $*% up--I had a feeling that I may surprise or perhaps even offend some people. Although part of that WAS humorous, there was some sort of annoyance that pervaded that series--I don't think the tone really came from anything but the culmination of crazy things that I've seen, and the friendships that have become strained.

For example, I think Megan (and perhaps another reader) had asked a while ago whatever happened with the friend who didn't invite TallGuy to her wedding --when she knew TallGuy and I had postponed our trip to the Greek Islands so we could be there (and even worse, didn't bother letting me know he wasn't invited, and then meekly writing me an email 2 weeks after the invitations were received): It's sad, but we don't speak anymore.

Although sometimes I regret that, I then become angry when I think that someone could become that self-absorbed about her wedding--to the point that she could let it affect our friendship. It was not only that fiasco regarding my trip with TallGuy, but her utter lack of communication with me during the time she was planning her "special day." The result = a ruined friendship. All over a freaking wedding!

The point of my writing this is to highlight that I've had several negative experiences in the past as regards friends losing their minds when it comes to planning--and I think sometimes that takes different tones in my writing -- sometimes I am more constructive, since my experiences can help others. And sometimes (perhaps how I've been in the past few weeks) I am more bitter (because I can't believe how this stuff can actually affect friendships and confidences).

So, Anne, to answer your question (in a very convoluted way), I haven't become bitter or angry--I think depending on my mood, or my perspective on the day in question, it comes out differently in my writing. Make sense?

However, I would like to emphasize that I will DEFINITELY be paying more attention to TONE as I continue to write these posts--as many of you are on this site for advice and help, my goal is CERTAINLY NOT to belittle anyone (or any aspect of wedding planning) or BITCH AND MOAN about people or things. I will be more positive in my approach, and I want you to know that I THINK SO POSITIVELY about writing and having a discourse with everyone who takes the time to read.

So thank you all again so much--I look forward to hearing from you soon! Back to "kids" for my next post!

Stay tuned!

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