Tuesday, May 30, 2006


The Wedding Fairy returns! I am back from my jaunt to Palm Desert, which is beautiful and HOT! I envy those of you who have mountains in your backyard -- it was a nice break from the skyscrapers!

Anyways, back to the sound of music (and the shrills and shrieks that may follow, when the bride-to-be gets upset regarding this subject)....

I was at a wedding of a good friend of mine, who is a very low maintenance, cool-as-a-cucumber-type.... and throughout the entire planning process, she wasn't really fazed by much that was thrown at her in terms of the pressures she encountered. She was excited (and at peace) with her choices, particularly with the band she employed.

The bride, who I'll call Madison (which, by the way, is one of my favorite girl names -- yes, identities have been changed here as well!), had told the band--in advance--that she had wanted to have soft cocktail music played during dinner and dessert--and have the "real" music (i.e. ABBA's "Dancing Queen") that people could dance to in between meals -- so that the "the eats" would be broken up by dancing.

For whatever reason, communication lines got crossed, and as Madison and her newly-minted husband sat down to dinner, they were surprised to note that the band began to play cocktail music during each meal--but that there was no "call to the dance floor" -- and that the band was waiting until after the meal to be served.....

Madison, who is not one to get angry often, had a small fit (albeit quietly) in the corner of the reception hall. Although I was one of few to notice the scene (most everyone else was actively engaged in conversation at various tables), I could sense how upset she really was over this issue--with this post, I'm not trying to emphasize the "scene" made here (since there really wasn't one, and her anger lasted only a few minutes), as much as I am the fact that it was a shame that she was upset about it in the first place. Why? Because it ACTUALLY worked out the way the band ended up doing it!

Since the band was so amazing, people were literally dancing for two-three hours straight (with apple martini breaks, of course). In this case, it worked for the band to play long "sets", because of the energy level of the room, and the fact that many of the guests were young (though even the older group was on the floor!)

Therefore, when it comes to the eternal question of whether to have music in between meals or the "save it for later" approach, I think it's important to keep in mind the following points:

(1) Communicate with your band, even towards the bitter end of planning -- as they say (and when a President actually says it correctly): "fool me once, shame on you -- fool me twice, shame on me." Or something. If they don't quite get it the first time you tell them, make sure they get it the second. (OK, so maybe that saying didn't *quite* fit in this paragraph, but someone just said it the other day, so it's on my mind).

(2) Keep in mind the composition of your guest list -- if you have a lot of older people, it may be smarter to have breaks in between the music, since that will allow for rest and mingling--which will, in turn, keep folks on the floor when the music is played. If the list is random? (As many of them will be?) Do what you will, and everyone will follow suit.

and, finally, most importantly....

(3) Don't Stress because either way seems to work well -- unlike a "good" or "bad" band, there's really no controversy surrounding the timing of the music -- just as long as it's good, people will dance! Getting upset - particularly AT your wedding - will just put a damper on YOUR day -- and you're there to have fun!

Stay tuned!

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