"Forget the café lattés, screw the raspberry iced tea/
A Malibu and Coke for you, a G & T for me...."
I don't know about you guys, but I happen to love this
Barenaked Ladies song... since I've already dated myself in my profile,
I'll simply say that this ditty (titled "Alcohol" - shocker there, no?)
makes me look back fondly on my college days (not JUST because I liked to
mix Malibus and Cokes during pre-parties). The song happened to be tres
popular during my sophomore year, thus the subject of my fond recollection....
Anyway, enough reminiscing. I thought that bringing up the subject of
ALCOHOL would bring forth a diverse set of quandries/issues/dilemmas....
Unlike a college preparty (or at least those that I went to!), weddings are
most oftentimes viewed as elegant affairs (or at least that's the
Interestingly enough, alcohol seems to be the consistent factor that
pops up in a myriad of scenarios, threatening to challenge that
sense of elegance.
Bottom line: There are a number of ways the subject of alcohol comes into
play-- and its treatment not only affects you, but how your guests view
the event to which they've been invited. Beyond the dramatic, there are
certain points about what to serve-- and when to serve it--that are details
worth noting (which I will do in a later post for this series).
To get the ball rolling, I'd like to tell you the story of the time I went
to my friend's wedding--and her new-husband practically french-kissed me
on the forehead--in front of TallGuy.
Yes. I repeat: My friend's husband nearly "french kissed" me on the
forehead at his wedding.
TallGuy and I were enjoying a very lovely wedding, and the husband (who
I'll call NotTongueTiedTed--Ted for short) and my friend, Cheri, were making
the rounds and heading over to each table to say hello to all the guests--
thanking them for being there on their special day and making sure we
were all having a good time.
As Ted and Cheri made it to our table, TallGuy and I were still seated, and
turned (half standing) to say hello to them. It was evident that Ted had
a few drinks that evening (you could smell it on his breath)-- and why
shouldn't he have? Nothing wrong with drinking at your wedding (the moral
of this story is below, so read on)!
Cheri leaned over to thank me, kissing me on the cheek, and
Ted loudly said goodbye and thank you -- giving me a sloppy-ish kiss
(yes there was some wetness involved) ON MY FOREHEAD.
You know what? It wasn't even offensive--it was just plain FUNNY.
Obviously, Ted wasn't trying to pull anything -- it was just a kiss on the
cheek gone awry--very awry. TallGuy and I snickered about it on the way
out, and we still do to this day. When I asked TallGuy recently whether or
not he were offended by it -- he just responded:
"I thought it was funny that you had his saliva all over your forehead."
There's really no specific lesson to be learned from this post, and I acknowledge
that. Clearly, no bride-to-be can prepare herself for this kind of situation (who
would think that their new husband would give a sloppy kiss on someone's forehead?)
However, this story does underscore the larger importance of maintaining
one's alcohol intake.
I've talked about this before when it comes to drunken wedding speeches, and
I'll point this out here, too: You should be held to the same standards--
if not higher--as your guests. Just remember that you and your fiance/husband
probably haven't eaten much due to stress (or trying to fit into your dress), and
you're running around greeting people all evening (and may not even have time
to eat the beautiful catered spread that you paid for!) -- therefore, keep in mind
what you are drinking and when you drink it.
I am SURE that Ted wasn't making an ass out of himself all evening -- as the
Wedding Fairy was on active duty that night, she didn't see anything else shady.
However, I am also SURE that the sloppy-forehead kiss definitely had
something to do with his drinking a lot that night.
So, moral of the story, be aware of what you and your husband are drinking --
while mishaps like this may seem part and parcel of having a little too much to
drink, they're still funny enough that I like to share them with you guys -- and
believe me, if this happened to me and TallGuy at our wedding (whenever that
is), I'd kick his ass. :)
This series will discuss, as I mentioned other aspects of alcohol intake -- and
more neutrally, what to serve, and when to serve it.