Friday, June 02, 2006


TallGuy and I are like one person when it comes to many things (values, goals, etc.), but when it comes to television, he and I are worlds apart.

Agreed, I can understand why it may be difficult for him to stomach "America's Next Top Model", "American Idol" (Elliot should have won, by the way), or any number of my Lifetime Movies (my favorite being "She's Too Young"), but a girl's gotta have her entertainment!

The one show that we DO have in common is The Office -- one of the best comedies--ever (yes, ever), my favorite episodes are those where Pam, the secretary, is planning her wedding (and her colleague/should-be boyfriend Jim helps her out) ....

In one of them, they are watching music videos of various bands that Pam and her fiance may end up using for her wedding. One of the VHS cassettes showcases a very bad 80s-style music video -- featuring her colleague, Kevin, on the drums. Pam and Jim giggle as they watch the band butcher a Sting classic.

Stay with my, dear reader, as I am getting to the point of this post--USING FRIENDS/FAMILY MEMBERS AS MUSICAL ACTS.

On the last episode of this season's "Office," Pam's fiance (who also works at the same company) asks Kevin if his band wants to play at the wedding--which obviously was NOT a decision that was made with Pam's consent.

My point: Be very careful--particularly when it comes to music--about using a friend or family member who is a musician, and make sure that you know what you're getting into before you say "yes".

Sure, there are musicians (and fortuitously happen to be friends of yours) who are AWESOME--like BigSis's friend who played the flute during her ceremony (who has a LOT of skill)--and worked very well with my BigSis, and they worked out exactly what music to play, when to play it, etc. But then again, good buddies who mean well -- and may be able to save you a buck -- may not have the skills that are necessary to play in front of a large group of people.

While it's inevitable that you will listen to the sound of any band before hiring THEM,
it's important to keep in mind that it's not the sheer quality issue that may be a problem when you hire a friend/relative -- it's the level of control problem that may arise as well.

In many of my posts, I've said that it's important to "live and let live" -- when it comes to music, as I may have said before, maintaining control over the band or musician should be par for the course (when it comes to song choice, for example -- not necessarily with regard to my last post about timing of the music).

Therefore, in hiring a friend/family member, remember that there may be more sensitive issues when it comes to giving instructions and maintaining control. Even if your friend isn't being paid, it may create more complications that you should anticipate.

I realize that many of you aren't going to be in this situation, but some of you might. A friend of mine today was just mentioning how a family friend of her fiance's plays the piano, and wanted to do the cocktail party portion of the evening -- we discussed how issues may arise related to this, including striking a balance between not wanting to offend someone she and her fiance know well and having everything go "perfectly" on the big day -- i.e. just the way they want it.

While a friend may not be along the lines of a "Kevin," having anyone participate in the wedding will bring up different issues, and raises implications that one must be aware of as they plan their special day.

Stay tuned!

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