Saturday, September 02, 2006

DILEMMAS RE: DIVORCED/SEPARATED PARENTS (HOW TO DEAL): PART III

I was re-reading my last post, and I didn't think I did Taylor's story justice (or Taylor's mother-in-law, to be more specific) -- I feel very strongly about the fact that family members shouldn't have to shut up and take it, when it comes to their own relationships being called into question, and the specifics of what happened to Taylor's mother-in-law really bring that feeling to the forefront.

Taylor told me that she and her husband were called to the dance floor by the band leader -- showing off their moves to Etta James' "At Last" (they had been dating since their senior year of high school, so it seemed appropriate!), Taylor and her husband were enjoying the moment as their family and friends looked on, smiling all the while. It was a beautiful moment.
As the song wound down, Taylor and her husband mingled with the guests who had been outlining the perimeter of the dance floor -- at that time, the band leader announced it was Taylor's time to dance with her father. She and her father then danced to Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely" -- one of her father's favorite songs, and one of Taylor's favorite artists. It was perfect.

Following a few more minutes of mingling and chatting, Taylor's husband danced with his mother (who was divorced and was attending the wedding solo). The mood was relaxed, and the guests (including this woman in question) were immensely enjoying themselves.

After these dances, the band member, with a flourish (and with the keyboardist playing some sort of tune on the keyboard) said loudly to the crowd: "I now want to introduce Taylor's parents to the dance floor for a special dance, Jim's father and stepmother to the dance floor, AND Jim's mother and sister to the dance floor!!!!"

As the announcement was made, the band leader was wildly gesturing to Jim's mother, motioning for her to join the group on the dance floor. Both Jim's mother and sister were extremely embarassed -- the mother, of course, feeling completely humiliated, and the sister, mostly because she is a very shy girl and didn't like the attention. USING THE MICROPHONE -- said to both of them "Why aren't you two dancing together? C'mon and join the party!"

Jim's mother and sister got through "their dance" -- more like standing on the edge of the dance floor and watching on in embarassment -- but it was not the start of the evening that at least some of these guests wanted.

I will of course come back with more examples, but I thought being more specific would help illustrate the ridiculousness that ensued -- and why guests in these type of situations should always come first - whether or not it's the bride's "day".

Stay tuned!

1 comment:

Megan said...

Oh come on. I didn't say that. I just mean that the divorced wife doesn't need to throw a cow if the caterer mistakenly calls her Mrs. exhusbandsname instead of Ms. Maidenname. Of course you should try to ease awkward moments by planning ahead about first dance, introductions and everything.