Thursday, February 08, 2007
THE PARENTALS (AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS): HOW TO DEAL: PART VII (CONCLUSION)
Based on the comments I've received with respect to the issue of family and weddings, the tension which may result from the predilictions/preferences of family members (with respect to religious aspects of the wedding or otherwise) is not an uncommon issue....
Obviously, there are a range of issues and scenarios, but I have, in my previous points, pointed out a few in order to illustrate certain underlying themes (like that of COMPROMISE, for example, which Megan also pointed out in her comment) that are important to keep in mind.
Remember: these problems aren't just related to your distant relatives (like that of a long-lost cousin, who wants to bring her infant to the wedding--when you have already decided on a NO KIDS policy). Much of this tension can occur within the nuclear family (i.e., with your mother/father when it comes to budget, or the actual style of the wedding), and with your fiance's family (i.e., with your STBMIL and the issues I described in prior posts). Once you recognize where the problems are coming from, you can begin to handle them accordingly.
The best way to handle family members is to KNOW YOUR LIMITS. Know when to stick to your guns (TACTFULLY), and know when to say "UNCLE". Every scenario is different, so unfortunately there's no hard and fast solution. But making sure each scenario is handled with grace and tact is ALWAYS the way to go.
I've really enjoyed reading your comments and hearing about your own experiences with respect to this issue. Bringing your own experiences to the table helps provide a richer discussion, and allows me to visit a host of issues that hopefully will connect with all readers planning their own weddings!