Saturday, December 08, 2007
SEATING SLIP-UPS (REDUX, TAKE TWO): Q + A TIME.
I thought I'd take some time to write a post while TallGuy is happily playing GuitarHero III on the Wii. I think this may have been the best holiday present I've ever gotten for him - AND it gives me time to do my girly wedding stuff without feeling guilty (not that he isn't totally happy with my doing it - but at least I feel like he's completely 100% occupied with something else!)
I received a comment/question from a reader, to which I wanted to respond (since I think these questions help many people out there tackle similar issues):
This is from Kirs10la (thanks for reading and the question, K!)
To mix things up a little bit, I'm going to answer Ks question IN CAPS AFTER EACH COMMENT/QUESTION, SO AS TO MAKE IT MORE CONVERSATIONAL. IF ANY OF YOU HAVE TROUBLE READING MY RESPONSES, LET ME KNOW (I WILL PUT THEM IN BOLD AS WELL TO MAKE IT CLEAR WHERE I AM RESPONDING.
"Let me start by saying... that I agree with your beefs on the slideshows and grand entraces/exits. Cheese balls with cheese on top.
[WEDDING FAIRY]: THANKS FOR BACKING ME UP ON THAT ONE. I THINK SLIDESHOWS AND GRAND ENTRANCES CAN BE DONE TASTEFULLY AND ELEGANTLY, FOR SURE, BUT THE MAJORITY OF THE ONES THAT I ENCOUNTER ARE ALWAYS SO OVER THE TOP. I WAS AT A WEDDING RECENTLY WHERE THE HAPPY COUPLE CAME INTO THE ROOM TO THE THEME SONG FROM ROCKY. I ALSO WAS AT A DIFFERENT WEDDING WHERE THE SLIDESHOW WAS LITERALLY 20 MINUTES LONG - I THINK BRIDES CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT, BUT ANYTHING THAT SEEMS EVEN REMOTELY OVER THE TOP, OR OVERDONE, SHOULD BE RE-THOUGHT.
But let me take on the Sweetheart table from the Bridesmaid/ Groomsmen point of view. My Fiance and I have been in many weddings in the 5 years we've dated. There is NOTHING we loath more about being wedding attendant than sitting at the head table. We want to sit with EACH OTHER. AND we don't want to be sitting with people we hardly know while the other sits at the head table for two hours during a 4 course meal.
[WEDDING FAIRY]: I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT THE HEAD TABLE SCENARIO BEING AWKWARD WHEN ONE HALF OF THE COUPLE IS NOT IN THE WEDDING PARTY. THAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN TALLGUY AND I WENT TO A DESTINATION WEDDING - TALLGUY SAT AT A TABLE WHERE HE LITERALLY KNEW NO ONE, BECAUSE I WAS IN THE WEDDING PARTY. IT WAS REALLY CRAZY.
For our wedding we are having a Sweetheart table because to fit a head table of 22 (maid & men, plus their husbands/wives/bfs/gfs, plus us) is too big to work in the room we have. We thought about doing "family" with us at the table but I have no immedaite family besides my parents (family full of only children... scary I know). And neither of us want to sit up there with our parents only (what could be more romantic than sitting with your parents?!). So we're doing a Sweatheart table by default. BUT we promise not be on platform or eat filet while everyone eats pasta, AND we promise to mix and mingle with everyone (we're both super social so I don't see it being a problem).
K, I DON'T SEE IT BEING A PROBLEM EITHER. MY CONCERN WITH SWEETHEART TABLES IS--AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN--HOW THEY ARE DONE (IT'S REALLY NOT THE ACTUAL INSTITUTION OF SWEETHEART TABLES ITSELF). IF THE TABLE IS DONE ELEGANTLY AND THE BRIDE/GROOM ARE INTERACTING WITH GUESTS, EATING THE SAME DISHES (!!) AND ON THE SAME LEVEL - LITERALLY :), THEN I THINK THIS MAKES SENSE AS AN OPTION.
IF SITTING WITH IMMEDIATE FAMILY IS NOT AN OPTION, THEN YOU ARE RIGHT THAT THIS SCENARIO MAY WORK THE BEST.
Do you think a sweetheart table is OK for us? Do you have any better ideas?
[WEDDING FAIRY]: IT SOUNDS AS IF YOU'VE REALLY THOUGHT ALL THE SEATING SCENARIOS AND ISSUES THROUGH. I DON'T THINK OF THIS AS A "BETTER" IDEA- BUT ANOTHER SUGGESTION COULD BE TO SPLIT UP YOUR WEDDING PARTY, AND YOU SIT WITH THE PEOPLE YOU FEEL CLOSEST WITH AT ONE TABLE, AND THEN HAVE TWO (OR HOWEVER MANY YOU NEED) OTHER TABLES OF THE GROOMSMEN/BRIDESMAIDS, ETC. THE LIKELIHOOD IS THAT YOU WILL BE GREETING GUESTS AT THE OTHER TABLES DURING DINNER, SO IT WON'T BE SUCH A BIG DEAL WHO YOU CHOOSE TO SIT WITH - AND IF ANYONE FEELS OFFENDED, THEN I THINK THAT'S SILLY AND UNCALLED FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A LARGE WEDDING PARTY, SO PEOPLE SHOULD REALLY UNDERSTAND IF THEY ARE NOT SEATED WITH YOU OR AT A HEAD TABLE.
BOTTOM LINE: I THINK A SWEETHEART TABLE WORKS FOR YOUR SITUATION, AND YOU ARE BEING A GREAT, THOUGHTFUL BRIDE BY THINKING THROUGH THE ISSUES. IF YOU FEEL LIKE SPLITTING UP THE BRIDAL PARTY, AND SITTING WITH YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS, I THINK THAT WORKS TOO. IF YOU ARE THE MOST COMFORTABLE WITH THE SWEETHEART TABLE, I SAY GO FOR IT!
TallGuy just glanced over at my computer and asked me who I was yelling at :)
Sorry for the ALL CAPS, but I thought it would be easier to answer the question this way.
I hope this answer helps people out there. I really enjoy reading about your own experiences - they really help me, too, try and figure out all this stuff as I plan.
By the way - I went to the Nutcracker ballet last night - so sweetheart tables were totally on my mind.