Tuesday, July 08, 2008

MUSINGS ON THE MISCELLANEOUS: A READER VENTS, AND THE WEDDING FAIRY RESPONDS

For every 25 sweet and thoughtful comment, constructive critique, or polite yet firm statement disagreeing with my posts, I get at least 1 or 2 really angry ones - mostly directed at the subject matter of my blog.

Here's the latest:

"This is for the original NUtcracker post. First time on this page... for the record I am paying for my own wedding and have no planner/coordinator. DIY Bride here. If for one damn day I want to be the center of attention.. so be it. A Grand entrance? Of course! A sappy slideshow? Check! (Only 6 1/2 minutes I promise) Sweetheart table? Oh yeah baby!! I will indeed be a gracious host and make sure everyone is enjoying the Filet Mignon I paid for. But hell yeah I'll be front and center that day... as I would expect my best girlfriend or sister to do on THEIR big day. I'm only planning on doing it once and I'm doing it big. My future husband who is my best friend will be making sure everyone's glass from the OPEN BAR is filled and everyone will get a good nights sleep in the hotels WE paid for. Not every bride provides things like this (and they damn well don't have to) Im lucky.. but you know what? They deserve their day too and if they want a 20 minute slideshow... DEAL... enjoy your food and go home and complain to everyone about what miserable couples we all are. Ciao!!"


Yikes.

I'm not really sure why people get so worked up about what I write - I have always maintained that my opinions are opinions ONLY, and I'm providing another way to look at the subject matter of weddings. I think this reader (probably not for long, given the fact that it doesn't sound like she likes what I have to say very much :-) is missing the point of my posts. As it is her "first time on this page", I tend (hope) to think that these thoughts are reactionary - if the reader gave my blog a chance, perhaps she could find something useful among all the pages.

I have NEVER claimed that brides-to-be who have a slide show or grand entrance are one-half of a "miserable" couple. Please. When I started this blog, I was actually a GUEST looking from the outside in -- NOT a bride or bride-to-be. I figured that, as a guest, I could very well provide a detached, observer's viewpoint from which to write about the wedding planning process.

As a guest, YES, I don't love slideshows - I find them boring. Sorry. My opinion, and my opinion only. Am I calling brides who have them rude, obnoxious, self-centered, or self-absorbed? No. I'm just letting people know that all of their guests may not enjoy them very much. As a bride during the planning process, I wanted to know what guests did and didn't enjoy - my feeling is that the wedding is about a celebration with family and friends, and it shouldn't be a spotlight for the bride and groom at the expense of the guest's enjoyment. Again, just my opinion. On the flip side, do I think that I'm some sort of "guestzilla" or horrible human being for HAVING these opinions? No freaking way.

Weddings are very personal things - if you want to have a 6 1/2 minute slide show? Good for you! I would hope that there are brides (or brides to be) out there who have had (or will have) slide shows or grand entrances -- and aren't responding to my opinions in such a reactive manner.

The whole point of this blog is to provide a fresh perspective. If you don't like what you read? I hope you will continue reading. If you find my opinions repulsive and absolutely inappropriate that you have to angrily respond to a post that is only meant to help readers -- and not send such a diatribe? Then stop reading, go plan your wedding, and forget about The Wedding Fairy, and what she has to say.

The reason I wanted to address this comment, is that I would hate for this to be up after the "Nutcracker" page and other readers think, just skimming the comment alone, that, as the Wedding Fairy, I am intimating these couples are "miserable" - this (obviously) is not the case.

To all of my readers who have provided interesting thoughts, words of encouragement, constructive criticism or helpful counter-opinions, I thank you. Please keep your ideas coming. I have no problem with counter-arguments or heated discussions about the subject matter of my posts. That, I believe, is helpful and provokes further commentary.

I will be back soon with more on the wedding, and certain topics/subjects which I found interesting as a result of my own experiences. Thank you guys, for all of the support. It's hard to believe that it's been nearly 3 years since I've been doing this.... it's gratifying to know that all of the positive responses and support greatly outnumbers statements like the above.

Stay tuned!

5 comments:

mom2lo said...

I'm just shocked to read this post! I mean, seriously, what are blogs anyway? A place for people to write/share their feelings, OPINIONS, hopes, dreams, ambitions, etc. with the world. Blog readers then have the choice to read the blog--or not! Complaining at the writers for sharing their opinion is just silly. No reason for that.

Thanks for continuing to share your thoughts and opinions with your readers!

Just Another Day...

Linda said...

Blah. Ignore this person. She states that she's never read your website and thus doesn't understand where you are coming from. I like your fresh approach. I don't always agree but that's not why I'm here. I enjoy hearing other's opinions.
Keep doing what you are doing. I'll keep reading.

Anonymous said...

Yikes is right! Why is this woman so defensive???

As someone who is currently planning a wedding, I have found many of you posts extremely helpful. Do I disagree with some things you say? Of course. Do I feel defensive about my own choices for my wedding? Not at all.

Thanks for taking the time to share your opinions and experiences and provide perspectives which I may not have otherwise considered.

Anonymous said...

In the spirit of constructive criticism - and this is going to sound like a weird one... I LOVE your blog, but the black background with the white writing gives me such a headache that I can't read more than one post at a time... Might you consider changing to white?

LaFlacaD aka Dianne said...

I tell everyone do what you want to do and be who you want to be as its your day! Nothing is really necessary except a bride a groom and someone to marry you. All the extras are just that - extras. If you want them great, if you don't just as well. Everyone is entitled to opinions but people forget that they can just agree to disagree.