Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Continuing with the "graciousness" thread, I started thinking about how being a "good bride" isn't just about being a good hostess to your guests.

ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING, brides (and grooms) should take the time to thank--I mean, really thank--any vendor contacts who are at the event. In addition, after the wedding, it's important to relay this information in the form of a thank you note or a phone call, if you are particularly happy with the results.

I know it seems so obvious of a point, but between circulating with your guests, trying to eat, and simply attempting to "take it all in", people may easily forget about those who have really made the day possible.

Although my amazing florist wasn't at the actual event itself, I made sure to find him before the ceremony, as he was working, to thank him profusely for his work. During the reception, I was able to chat a bit with our wedding coordinator, and let her know how much we appreciated her help through the process. Same with the "captain" who was running the actual dinner timing.

I sent thank you notes to all three of those individuals, as well as an email to the band coordinator, to let them all know how fantastic their services were.

When you are that happy with a vendor, you need to show it! Be over-the-top. It's OK.

Obviously, if you aren't thrilled with your results, then that's something you will need to work through with that particular vendor, even if it falls on the day of your wedding. If your vendor is rude or unhelpful, I am certainly not advocating gushing all over them. But, being pleasant is always a key to getting what you want, so just remember that, as you go through the process (a yelling bride-to-be is likely to get railroaded, versus a probably-annoyed-but-calm bride to be who isnt' 100% satisfied).

I was lucky in that I loved all my vendor's results. The bottom line? Keep it real, but on the day of (and after that!), try your best to be as gracious to your vendors as you are to your guests. If you aren't 100% happy, talk to them about it. Don't freak out. Don't scream. Working through it will get you a long way.

So, bottom line - work it. Work it with your vendors. Thank them for their services, especially on the day of. Good karma is important!

Stay tuned!


Kimberly said...

You are dead on with this post. With so much planning and pressure to MAKE IT THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE it's easy to understand how minor flaws could set some people off. But, anything less than a gracious, happy bride is likely to be painted with the Bridezilla brush. It's a difficult expectation to live with so a nice reality check on the way in to know everything might not be perfect but it's ok and can always be dealt with afterwards is good to see :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm so glad my daughter sent a link to your blog. She has recently become engaged and the majority of the wedding "stuff" on the internet is so repetitive, or self-absorbed. We're going to enjoy your blog a lot!

Teresa said...

You are sooooo right. I'm planning to write "BE GRACIOUS!" in lipstick across every mirror in my hotel suite, so I remember!

Laura M. said...

love Love LOVE your blog! Way to tell it like it is, sister. Thanks for these tips, as well-- important to keep in mind when it's so easy to get bogged down in the other sorts of details.