Thursday, January 15, 2009


I love Ru Paul. Not going to lie -that ridiculous song, "Supermodel" - has always put a smile on my face.

I received a thoughtful comment a few weeks back about my own experiences at the wedding, with respect to "working the room", and greeting guests during the reception.

As cheesy as it sounds, my advice is this: "Girl, You Better Work!" (And Sashay and Chantay while you do it!)

In all seriousness, it's really important to say "thank you" to those who have made it out to your soiree. It doesn't have to be a 5 minute "thank you" by any means -- but going around to your tables (during dinner, if you are having one), is a great way to say hello to your random third cousin, or your husband's family friend, who you may not have had the chance to see during cocktail hour or the reception. Guests don't forget things like this.

Most importantly, they don't forget when a bride/groom completely forgets to see them at all during the evening. I had that happen (see one of my previous posts regarding "Significant Others"), and I thought it was not very gracious. Remember - you are the bride, and it is "your day" - but you are also the hostess - and a gracious hostess means a fun party that everyone enjoys!

Obviously, meeting and greeting guests during dinner means giving up a lot of other things during your wedding -- EATING being one of them. I have stressed in the past how important it is to eat during your wedding. It may sound ridiculous and so obvious, but somehow, brides often "forget" (i.e. don't have time) to eat. Brides need energy during the ceremony in order to talk to so many people, so I don't advocate mingling to the point of not having moments for you and your honey to chill and take a few minutes to yourself.

The key is balance. What TallGuy and I did was spend the first part of dinner going from table to table. Just to say 'hi, thanks so much for coming'. And then we moved on. If we got into discussion, we tried to keep moving as graciously as possible (without cutting off any conversation, of course), and then we got to as many tables as we could. If you are doing a sweetheart table, I think it's especially important to do the "meet and greet" during dinner. Sometimes, guests may be intimidated to come up to the bride and groom who are sitting alone.

No matter where you are sitting for dinner (whether at a sweetheart table, or a table with siblings, etc.), getting to guests' tables puts everyone at ease, and makes everyone feel important.

Ideally, you want to get to every table possible. If you're having a 300 person wedding, however, I know that this will be a challenge! I would make sure that you try and see as many people as possible during cocktail hour, and do the table mingling during dinner. But if you have 40 tables of folks, you have to make a decision about who you go to--and who you don't. If you have a table of close friends, skip them. You'll see them during dancing, etc. If you have a table of your father's work colleagues and clients, go see them. Those are the people you most likely will NOT see the rest of the night.

The goal, in my opinion (no matter whether you have dinner/dancing, a Sunday brunch wedding, or anything in between), is to make all guests feel welcome and important. Saying hello and thanking them is the best way to do that.

Timing-wise, I think TallGuy and I missed about 3-4 tables (out of 15 maybe?). We tried to see those people after dinner, to the extent we could. Did we do perfectly? No way. But we tried - and that is also one of the important things about being a gracious hostess. You can't please everyone, but you can certainly try.

Stay tuned!

1 comment:

Marie Reed said...

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